Planning a wedding guest list with both families: a step-by-step guide
In much of Southeast Asia a wedding guest list is not one list — it is the bride’s family, the groom’s family, the couple’s friends, parents’ colleagues and the kampung, often across more than one function. This guide gives you a structure that keeps everyone involved without losing control of the numbers.
Key takeaways
- Start from budget per head and venue capacity, then split seats between the two families.
- Use two family sides so each family manages its own list as a co-host.
- Invite people to sessions (akad, resepsi, tea ceremony, banquet) rather than to “the wedding”.
- Track households, not heads: one invitation per family keeps the list manageable.
1. Work out the seats you can afford
Divide your catering and venue budget by the price per head to get a ceiling, then compare it with the dewan or hall capacity. Plan to fill around 90% of that number with confirmed guests — you will need room for last-minute VIPs and staff.
2. Split seats between the families
Agree early how many seats each family receives. Under Families & team, name the two sides (for example *Pihak perempuan* and *Pihak lelaki*). Every invitation then belongs to one side, and the dashboard shows each side’s numbers next to the combined total.
3. Let each family manage its own list
Invite one person from each family as a co-host and choose which side they manage. They can add guests, import their list, send WhatsApp invitations and follow up — but they only see their own side. You keep the complete picture.
4. Invite people to sessions, not just “the wedding”
| Tradition | Typical sessions | Who is usually invited |
|---|---|---|
| Malay | Akad nikah · Majlis resepsi (sometimes two, one per family) | Close family to akad; everyone to resepsi |
| Chinese | Tea ceremony · Wedding banquet | Family and elders to tea ceremony; banquet for all |
| Indian | Mehendi / sangeet · Wedding ceremony · Reception | Varies by function — often different lists |
| Mixed / modern | Solemnisation · Lunch or dinner reception | Close circle vs wider circle |
Create these as Sessions, then tick per invitation which sessions apply. Each guest sees only their programme and replies for those sessions; you see a separate count per session.
5. Build the list in households
- One invitation per household, addressed the way you would write the card (“Keluarga Encik Ahmad”).
- Name members where it matters (close family), set adults/children allowances elsewhere.
- Use groups (Family, Office, Masjid, University) for filtering and targeted reminders.
- Import existing spreadsheets rather than retyping — see importing your list.
6. Set a reply date and reminders
Ask for replies two to three weeks before the event — usually just before your caterer needs a final number. Turn on automatic reminders (Event Plus) and use the “opened but not replied” list for personal nudges. See following up.
Questions
Can the two families use different languages?
Yes. Each invitation can have its own language, so one family can receive Bahasa Melayu while the other receives English or 中文.
Can a co-host see the other family’s guests?
Not if you assign them to one side. Co-hosts without a side see all guests.
Put this into practice
Create your invitation, add your families with seat limits and send personal links on WhatsApp — free for up to 30 invitations.